


blurring

by clubchicken



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 00:52:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6064570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clubchicken/pseuds/clubchicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luhan was an explosion of colors in Sehun’s eyes. An imperfect masterpiece of red, blue, and purple. Until Luhan painted his vision gray and Sehun can no longer tell himself apart from Luhan amidst the devoid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	blurring

“I hate everyone.” Luhan spits, before taking a drag from the stick in between his lips. _Black Menthol_. So it won’t irritate his lungs, he had said. So he can smoke more, he had added.

 

So he can die sooner, Sehun had thought.

 

They’re somewhere, a house party perhaps from one of Luhan’s friends. Sehun didn’t even know who the host is but Luhan still insisted on dragging him. That’s how they ended up on the couch, with Luhan straddling him as he lies down on the leather, stoned and drunk all over. Luhan lowers himself down so the lit up end of the stick comes in contact with the unlit cigarette dangling on Sehun’s mouth. Sehun drags and inhales, closing his eyes letting the smoke fill his lungs just as images of his fucked up life flashes in the darkness. He sees his brother with his friends, the small group of people he considered friends in high school, and the number of acquaintances he’s picked up from his first year in college. It was all gray in his eyes and the devoid of colors itches his fingers to scratch his eyes out.

 

Then there’s Luhan. An imperfect masterpiece of red, blue, and purple. So fucked up but still the flickering light in the darkness within Sehun’s vision. Sehun could only wish for him to go blind.

 

Luhan blows the smoke in his mouth into Sehun's face, “I want to die.” Luhan says before giggling.

 

He wants to die too, Sehun thinks--because Luhan wasn’t enough to make all the wounds he has on himself disappear. His back is reminiscent from Luhan’s month-old untrimmed nails. His chest, scattered with scars scorched by cigarette butts. And underneath his clothes where they’re the least noticeable, are different shades of the three colors.

 

What’s even worse is that Sehun knows that he wasn’t enough for Luhan either.

 

They’re both just the same. Two lost souls waiting for the end to come. They weren’t enough for each other but they’re both alive anyway sharing the same flame for a drag.

 

“I should just go kill myself, isn’t that right?” Luhan says with nonchalance, pretty lips curved with a smile.

 

 _But you won't,_ Sehun thinks, and he loathes it. How someone who couldn’t even save himself, is holding onto him as if saying: _If I can’t do it, neither can you._ But Sehun could already see himself hanging off the edge with Luhan’s foot stepping on his weak fingers, saving him from falling yet hurting him at the same time. Sehun’s sick of it.

 

He just wants to let go.

 

Sehun takes the stick off his mouth and opens his eyes. Luhan’s eyes are blank but he is staring down at him. The room is packed and the music is drowning out in his ears. His vision is clouded but Luhan’s eyes are so clear.

 

Softly, Sehun whispers, “Don’t you think I want that too?”


End file.
